realtelaviv.com

Ok, so I am clearly not objective but I still believe that what I am saying is completely true; there is nothing like a good Jewish Israeli Guy. Speaking from years of experience, I can tell you that Israeli guys are just something else, they have that certain je ne sais quoi to them, maybe it’s the army dust still left on their broad shoulders, maybe the amazing tan they have from the many many summer days, or maybe it’s the warm sweet way they kiss their mothers. Anyway you just HAVE to find yourself one, and here is how to do it in Tel Aviv.

Tel Aviv is a city which has gathered people from all over the country (and also the world) and is constantly trying to shape them and fit them into the Tlv stencil. But although you can sometimes mistake a “new” Tel Avivian with an original one, there are usually some differences that even Tlv can not erase. So when looking for your perfect Israeli Guy in Tlv, you’re bound tol run into a few different type casts.

The Kibbutznik
When I think good old Zionist Israel I automatically think Kibbutz, and when I think of the Kibbutz I mainly think of the Kibbutznik! Tall, handsome, shy but witty, the kind of guy who can take you camping with 2 minutes notice because he already has all of the stuff in the back of his 1981 Tender (an old rundown pickup). The only problem with the Kibbutznik is that he lives on the Kibbutz!!! Who wants to live on a kibbutz?! This is why the Tlv Kibbutznik is the best version out there, he has cleaned up a little from the farm and found his way to conquer Tlv. To find him I recommend going out to very casual pubs, the Kibbutznik can be found here because this is the kind of place that makes him feel at home, Try The Kosit (Kikar Rabin 5, 03-5223244) or The Shoftiem (39 Iben Gvirol St., 03-6951153) both have a homey environment and very good snacks, especially the yellow and feta cheese toast at The Shoftiem which is to die for!

The Artsy
The Artsy Tlv Guy can be found in a few different locations, and he doesn’t have a lot of identifying marks, so you really have to search for him.. One good spot to track him down is in the front yard of the Tel Aviv Museum (27 Shaul Hamelech Blvd, 03-6077020), the artsy might stop here for a rest or a cigarette after a long visit at the newest exhibition. Another possible location is the Tlv Cinematheque (2 Shprinzak St., corner of HaArbaa St., 03-6060800) where all the quality and foreign films are screened, and where a lot of happenings go down. Last but a very good possibility, you might find the Artsy wondering around Rothschild Blvd. admiring the beautiful Bauhaus buildings. Keep your eyes wide open in search for the one..

The Stoner/ Surfer
Why did I attach these two types, which are clearly so very different?! Only because they meet at the beach!!! Even though they are involved in completely different “activities”, they are, geographically speaking, in the same radius, and this gives you the chance to kill two birds with one stone. The main surfer/stoner beaches are Metzitzim beach, Jerusalem Beach (both part of the Tlv promenade) and also recommended is the Pirtsa Beach (on the border of Tlv and Herzliya), which is not an official beach and therefore you have to go through a hole in a fence to get in (the meaning of the word Pirtsa is loophole), but when you get in it is true surfer/ stoner heaven, the combination of a good swell (What is this word?) and a psychedelic sunset is perfect for courting.

The Lawyer/ Accountant/ Broker
Now if you are looking for some serious marriage material, the kind that will make your mother happy and will also buy you the diamond ring you’ve always dreamed of, this is where you should be: Since these types are basically all work and no play, you will have to go to the source in order to real get some action going. Try to ambush them during their lunch hour! The only time a day that they might give you the time of day. Large concentrations of this type cast can be found eating lunch in any of the restaurants on Rothschild Blvd, in the Azrieli Shopping mall, or at the area of the courts houses on Shaul Hamelech Blvd. The best opening line would probably be a head line from today’s The Marker..

The Muscle man
If bulk is your thing, Tlv has become quite a factory in fitness rooms, actually every three block you can find some gym or other exercise place, and somehow, not very surprisingly, they have become one of the best places to find a date in town. The sweat, the endorphins releasing, the stupid small talk about a new fitness trend, create an ideal setting for smoozing. My favorite gym is called Pure (http://pure.co.il/) it’s centrally situated, has a sleazy enough atmosphere, and a lot of really cute guys walking around in very short running shorts.

Let the hunting begin……